I’m in my late twenties and definitely not in a hurry to settle down. I’ve had a series of one-night stands that have ended with me being verbally abused by the women I’ve made love to even though they wanted it as much as I did.
This makes me feel I might not be handling the whole fling thing very well and I must be giving out mixed messages to the girls I’ve met.
What I need to know is how to continue with this no-strings flings without any one getting hurt - or angry - afterwards.
For instance, if I meet a girl and all I want is to make love, should I say so up front? Won’t she run away if I do? I know I don’t sound like a nice chap, but I really am!
Of course you’re a nice chap! A real cad wouldn’t care less about hurting women’s feelings. At this stage in your life, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting casual relationships.
It’s fine to want to make love as long as the person you’re having it with agrees. In other words, you need to send out strong signals that you want to be foot-loose.
So, don’t whisper sweet nothings unless they’re sensual. No saying how fabulous the girl is, unless you’re talking about physical attributes. And no hinting at future plans. In other words, make all your chat-up sexual rather than romantic.
Something like: “Look, you turn me on but I can’t really promise anything else. Do you want to, can I stay the night or would that be out of order?”
You could spell out your intentions but in a light-hearted way. If your line works and they agree, your conscience is clear.
However, you need to choose your partners with sensitivity. If you’re guessing the girl you’re chatting up is naive and has marriage on her mind, don’t go there.
Believe me, there are loads of girls out there who also want no-strings relationships.
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