For three years, I have been having an affair with a female colleague. She knows how strongly I feel about my wife and now that my wife is pregnant with our second child, I told her we should stop the affair.
To my dismay, she really got nasty and angry, threatening to spill the beans to my wife if I dumped her.
How can I make her realise it’s better if we just finish the affair quietly?
You may not be able to finish this affair as quietly as you hoped. It depends on whether your lover cares who she hurts, or is just doing what she can to keep you. Whichever way, you need to make it clear that you won’t go on with the affair whatever she says or does.
Then you must decide whether to tell your wife or risk your former lover spilling the beans instead.
Only you can judge your wife’s reaction, just as you’re the only person who can work out what your lover will do once she realises it’s all over.
If she’s a decent person, my guess is that she won’t tell. But finding out from a stranger would upset your wife more than hearing it from you.
(Bunmi Sofola)
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