I am happy my husband is dead

My husband recently died suddenly after suffering from a massive heart attack. We have been married close to 20 years and have three children. Everyone expects me to be devastated by his death, but I’m not. He was a real socialite, very popular and friendly to friends and relations. But to me and our children, he was nasty, miserly and grumpy.
What’s worse, he had lots of affairs he wasn’t sorry for. As at the time of his death, he’d gloated to me and the children that he was planning on taking a second wife and selling the family house, so he would have money to buy a flat and pay the rent for a flat he would move the rest of us into.
So you can imagine how jubilant I was when he had a heart attack in his office. I was thankful it didn’t happen at home or his relatives might accuse me of killing him.

So as at the time of his death, my head ruled my reasoning instead of my heart. I quickly took the documents of the house to a safe place and locked all his relatives out. I believe in poetic justice and his death had vindicated me. I still feel bitter about the way he treated us and to bury him, I sold his two cars and told his relatives he had no liquid cash, when I was aware of how much he had in the bank.
When they realised that I’d gotten the letter of probate and made my three children administrators to his will, my in-laws nearly beat me up.
Now I do as I please, but they expect me to mourn him for a year at least! am not prepared to do this.

You should be commended by this honesty you’ve shown about your feelings. And why not? Your husband treated you and your children badly, flaunting his affairs. So a large part of you will actually be relieved he’s gone. And it is understandable you’re furious with him. You shouldn’t be afraid to own up to that.
Having said that, if you allow yourself to feel all your anger, you might just discover, under the surface, that there’s also some sadness that he died, that your marriage failed, that things did not work out.
And if you tap into that sadness, it may only take a small step to being able to let these bitter feelings go.
You were both in love once— enough to make three children together. You should try and mourn this sad loss of a life that was cut short. After a decent mourning period, you should then begin your new life and perhaps find new love, and contentment.
Your late husband’s relatives might be unaware of how badly you were treated and would be naturally bewildered if you behaved as if you were well rid of your husband. He was their flesh and blood too.
(Bunmi Sofola)