I have been married for years and have three children amongst whom is a daughter who is in her twenties. Recently, my daughter’s boyfriend came to visit with his elder brother. When I ran into this elder brother a few weeks after the visit, I was struggling to fix my car and he was very helpful.
He came back the next day to find out how the car was and I invited him in.
Since then, we’ve been lover and the relationship has taken years off my age.
He’s years younger than I am, but who cares? Knowing him is better than taking any rejuvenating tonic.
My problem now is that my daughter and husband should not find out. Please don’t tell me to give him up for the sake of my marriage. I’ve tried hard to do that and I can’t.
How do I deal with this?
Affairs very often demand self-deception. You believe that, in the same way as an addict, you are unable to abandon this lover. Also because he is younger, virile and handsome, this somehow explains your helplessness and your need. Who are you trying to fool?
Many people fantasise about having multiple sexual partners and some even experiment. Yet, a lot of people are capable of fidelity that marriage implies. Stop fooling yourself and admit that you have been greedy and have been lucky so far not to be caught. You need to end the affair immediately before your daughter and husband find out and lose all respect for you.
You will reap the rewards of marriage by devoting yourself to your husband with your heart, body and soul - regardless of how often he makes love to you.
And no matter how flattering you find the attention of your new found stud, it is time to let go.
(Bunmi Sofola)
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