This may sound weird, especially as I’m a mother of four: but I’ve never had sex while sober. And I’ve never “made love”— only had sex. I don’t reach orgasm and I always need a stiff-drink before hand.
I’m currently separated from my husband and have been on my own for over a year. Although I’ve had a few short-term relationships, I back off when men start to get serious.
I’m scared I’ll never have a long-term relationship again. What should I do?
It sounds as though there is something about sex that terrifies you. As a result, what should be a loving experience is something so bad that you need a stiff drink to face it.
But why? Did you have a bad experience when you were young? Or could it be the men you’ve slept with weren’t right for you— you don’t fancy or even like them? Do you have enough time for foreplay before you have sex?
You need to get together with trusted friends you can talk these problems over with and your doctor should be involved too, so you can really understand what’s going on and try and correct such.
It takes time to get over frigidity, but you owe it to yourself to try.
(Bunmi Sofola)
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